The Worst/Best of Times

 

“The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones.”

– Gabirol

(1021-1058)

Jewish Philosopher

 

Every generation seems to get the same ideas about itself. They see their “today” as being the worst things have ever been. Many will tell you it is, without a doubt, the end times. In twenty years, they somehow become the “good old days,” and we long for things to be as they were back when we were young. I know; I saw the Blackboard Jungle become Happy Days in my lifetime.

There are, however, certain qualities that weave themselves from one generation to the next. These are the things that hold us together and keep us from falling off the deep end of social destruction—qualities like honesty, respect, kindness, and good manners.

Good manners may seem in short supply these days; however, most people still expect to see them in others. Folks do not notice good manners as much as they are repelled and disgusted by bad manners. American poet Bryant H. McGill pointed out, “Good manners are appreciated as much as bad manners are abhorred.”

Rudeness has run rampant in our society. The salesperson in the store, the waitperson in the local restaurant, Doctors, Lawyers, nurses, and any other professional you can name all seem to believe that courteous behavior is beneath them. When we find a professional with even a hint of good manners, we are so impressed we tell others what a wonderful experience it was to do business with them.

The important thing for us to understand is not the lack of manners in others, but how do we instill good manners in our young people? There is a group that calls themselves the Knights of the Free Company. They get together to practice medieval martial arts as a sport. They also hold to the old Knightly code of chivalry. On their website, I found a statement I thought was powerful. “Chivalry never died. The gentleman in most men did. Being male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of age. But, being a gentleman is a matter of choice.”

If we want to see a rise in good manners in our society, we must help our young people learn and practice manners in their daily lives. It is not as challenging to do as it may seem. You can teach manners in two simple ways. First, teach that every person deserves respect and kindness. That is all good manners is really. Just respect and compassion showed to others. The Irish author Laurence Stirne (1713-1768) said, “Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners.”

The second and most important thing we can do is to be an example for our young. The great movie song and dance man Fred Astaire (1899-1987) said, “The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.” You are, and always have been, the most potent teaching source in your child’s life. Young people look up to adults and learn how to act and think. Be the example of good manners and right living.

 

You can learn more about Personal Development from the author and speaker, John Patrick Hickey. To get his books, training material, or book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   

© 2021 John Patrick Hickey. No part of this material may be reprinted or published without the written permission of the author.