Personal Development and the Friendly Person

The following article is from the new book, Getting Personal: A Guide to Personal Development by author and speaker, John Patrick Hickey.  To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.  

A true companion is more than just someone you share time with or even share a place to live. We have all experienced those times when we have been with other people, yet knew we were very much alone. A true companion is nothing less than a true friend. Friendship is something

most everyone seeks and desires. We want people to be with us, support us, be there for us and allow us to confide in them.

While we all know what we are looking for in a friend, we do not always think about what we need to do to be a friend. Success-minded people realize that, as the great Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” True friendship looks towards others and how we can improve their lives, all beyond our own needs and desires.

Many times when people are asked, “What do you want in a friend?”, they answer, “Someone who accepts me just as I am.” The truth is, that is the wrong answer. The man at the convenience store accepts you just as you are. The waitress at your favorite diner accepts you just as you are. They accept you because they really do not give much thought to you. You are just another customer; a face in the crowd. To a friend, you have to be much more.

Friendship creates in us a desire to see the best for our friends. Friends will accept you for who you are; however, they will not accept leaving you that way. They want to see the best qualities come out in their friends. Friends will correct you when you are doing things that are destructive, and encourage you when you follow your dreams and goals in life. Henry Ford once said, “My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.”

For the success-minded person, they strive to be this type of true friend. They are a ready source of encouragement and support. Success-minded people stand by their friends, even in the tough times. However, they will not allow those friends to make mistakes if they can help them avoid it.

Success-minded people will help bring clarity to their friend’s thinking when they can. Never dictating to them what they should or should not do, but helping the friend to discover the right way for themselves.

For the person who is lonely or insecure, choosing the right friends can be difficult. These are the ones who will allow destructive and negative people into their lives, thinking that they are friends. I have seen this many times in young people (though this happens with people of all ages). when they have bad friends but feel a sense of loyalty or fear when thinking of moving on with their lives.

Some think that they can change the wrong behavior of their friends by sticking with them. Here is a well-known fact: negative and destructive people will bring you down long before you can bring them up. That is always true. Do not buy into the lie that you can help improve someone who does not wish to improve. The best thing we can do to help friends who live destructive and negative lives is to take a stand and walk away. Yes, they will tell you that you are wrong and disloyal, but they will see that you are willing to do what is right even if it costs you a friendship.

The Bible tells us that “bad company corrupts good morals.” It is in the human nature to do what is easy and many times wrong. This is why much of the thinking of today is so foolish and damaging. People do not want to put forth the effort to do what is good and right; they would rather just go with the crowd. It takes deliberate action to do right and to be a good and helpful friend.

Companionship is also that wonderful blessing of having someone who shares your interests and dreams. When you are a good companion, you will find many things that you and your friend can do together that brings out the best in all concerned. This is why many times friends go to the same groups for recreation and fun. They often attend the same churches or schools. Friends will enjoy the same movies and music. There is a connection that builds the more you invest your time and interest into it.

This all does not mean that real friends must share everything all the time. You can be a good friend and follow a different path in life; you will, however, be a ready source of encouragement and support to your friends on their path.

To discover how you can achieve the dream you have believed was impossible for too long, read Getting Personal: A Guide to Personal Development by John Patrick Hickey.  You can get a signed copy for yourself and get one for a friend, by going to http://www.johnpatrickhickey.com/it-is-good-to-set-goals-better-to-achieve-then/.  Now available on Kindle, Oops! Did I Really Post That? Online Etiquette in the Digital Age by John Patrick Hickey.

© 2016 John Patrick Hickey. No part of this may be reprinted or published without permission of the author.