WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

“How you see yourself is the way you’ll end up being.”  -- Kenneth Cole

“For as he thinks within himself, so he is…” – Proverbs 23:7

As a Success-Minded Person, how you see yourself and what you believe about yourself is key to who you are and who you will be in the future.  It really does not matter what other people think about you, it matters what you think about you.  And yet day after day we surrender ourselves to those around us to tell us how to feel, think and act.  Remember that the only control anyone has over us is what we willing give to them.

Author and speaker, Les Brown (not the band leader), correctly said, “Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality.”  Success-Minded People face two constant and difficult enemies to their success.  One is their own thinking; the other is our friends and loved ones.  Allow me to explain.

As I said before, how you think about yourself is vital to you success.  If you are always thinking, “I can’t do this.  I am not smart, educated, old, young, rich, talented or whatever enough.”  Then you will not go far.  Well known author and motivator, the late Earl Nightingale said, “We tend to live up to our expectations.”  Simple fact, what you think about is what you will become.

The other great influence in your life is the people you allow to pour into it.  If you listen to those who are negative and tell you that you cannot succeed they will drag you down every time.  Most do not do this out of malice or a desire to see you fail.  Some feel they are saving you from hurt or they just cannot get beyond their own negative thinking.  Whatever the reason, it is very destructive.  W. Clement Stone, a man who knew great success in his life said, “Be careful of the friends you choose for you will become like them.”

It will be the positive people in your life that will move you forward.  Mark Twain said, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.  Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great.”  The people who believe in you (and this works the other way too) will encourage you when the road gets rough.  They will correct you when you go off course and cheer you on as you achieve your goals.  These are the people you want to have around you.

So what do you do when the negative people in your life are family like parents and spouses?  You cannot just toss them out and not talk to them.  No you cannot reject those who love you even if they can hurt your dreams.  You can however limit the amount of influence they have in your life.  If they are complaining or down playing your dreams, do not talk with them about your dreams.  Do not allow them in the areas of life that they can hurt.  You do have control.  Once again, people, no matter who they are, only have the control in our life that we give them.  As author and psychotherapist, Virginia Satir said, “We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.”

Back to the original question, "Who do you think you are"?  What do you believe about your life and where you are going?  Success-Minded People know their dreams and the goals they have set in life.  They know who they want to be and what they want to achieve.  That is the first step down the road to success, but there are a few bumps in the road you need to prepare for.

One of the largest bumps to go over is that of the past.  We see how we have been discouraged before, we have allowed others to define us and we have made more mistakes than successes.  One of my favorite quotes of all times that has been a powerful help to me during times of discouragement and frustration is from Author and speaker Tony Robbins.  It is simple and I strongly suggest that you put it to memory.  “The past does not equal the future.”  What was, even if it was just ten minutes ago, does not mean that is what will be.

We all have the ability to pick up and move forward from where we are.  Writer Carl Bard said, “Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”  You cannot change the past.  There is nothing you can do to go back and make mistakes never happen.  We seek forgiveness if needed, repent if needed and move on.  As author George Eliot said (and I love this), “It is never too late to be what you might have been.”

Another large bump in the road of success is the fact that we have never done this before.  Or even more, we have tried and failed.  Remember that mistakes are not fatal.  If you are still taking in air, you can do it right.  Look at what you have done and see what went wrong.  Change the approach and try again.  We, like Edison, Ford, the Wright Brothers and many more learn from our mistakes.  Life is a classroom and we get lots of pop quizzes.  Some you will ace and some you will get wrong.  Pop quizzes are designed to help you find the areas you need more study in.  If you keep a spirit of learning about you even the mistakes are victories because you learn what not to do.

Now, for the last time, "Who do you think you are"?  If you believe that you are an achiever, a winner in life and the reality of your dreams, then act like it.  Inventor, Charles Kettering advised that we, “Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.”  So, am I saying that we should “fake it till we make it”?  In a way, yes.  Acting like the person we wish to become is not a matter of pretending you are something you are not.  Success-Minded People know that the person they were created to be is who they REALLY are.  By acting this way they will do what that person must do to succeed.  It is not just how we think but how we act that changes things.  Greek Philosopher, Epictetus said, “First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”

If you know who you were created to be then live that life.  Soon you will see you life follow suit and your dreams become reality.  Andrew Carnegie said. “Think of yourself as on the threshold of unparalleled success.  A whole clear, glorious life lies before you.  Achieve!  Achieve!”  You dreams are not ideas of fancy, they are who you are.  You have this dream burning in your heart and have seen it for ages now.  It is time to live it and to be who you were created to be.  I know you can do this.  I too call to you, Achieve!  Achieve!

“Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality.  If you can dream it, you can make it so.” – Belva Davis

© Jack Hickey 2010