The Less Said the Better

I do not think anyone would argue the fact that people tend to talk way too much.  Seems that we can hear the human voice every minute of every day.  Some of the most expensive taking is done by those who are looking to achieve something in their life.  Why is that more expensive?  Because you can talk or you can do; you cannot do both.  As Walt Disney said, "The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing."

                I read once that when we spend time talking about what we are "going to do" that each word equals seven steps in the process of achievement.  I don't know if that is true, but I do know that when people talk about what they are "going to do" they seldom do it.  And that is a fact.

                I would like to point out four times when the less you say is better.  However, understand that there is an exchange here on every count.  Talking less does not automatically cause more action.  Just as you must purposely talk less, you must purposely do more.  The action is always deliberate and will not happen on its own.  As the old saying goes, "Success is never the result of spontaneous combustion, you must set yourself on fire."

1)  Talk Less When Setting Your Goals

                Several years ago, I did a workshop on goal setting at a local church for their leadership.  There was a young man there who was excited to attend.  "I have always wanted to set goals", he said, "but I just could never get started."  All during the workshop he constantly had questions and statements to make.  During breaks and after we were done he was telling everyone of all the things he was going to do and how he would use the information he was taught.  About a year or so later I came across this fellow again at another event.  I asked him how his goal setting worked.  "I really haven't done it yet," he said, "but I will and it will be great."  I would be safe in saying that if I saw him today, I would hear the same report again.

                Setting goals is really a very personal matter.  Of course, I am talking about personal goals, not team goals.  Your goals are the things you want to achieve in a set period of time.  The most important thing is that they are yours, not someone else's.  Once you bring your goals up for discussion, someone will add their two cents and then someone else will tell you their thoughts and before you know it, you have allowed them to set all your goals for your life.

2)  Talk Less When Discussing Your Dreams

                This is most important when you are still discovering what your dreams are.  This is the time to think about what you want and where you are going in life.  Dreams should be big, impossible and scary, but they should not be shared.

                I have heard some teachers of success say that you should tell others your dreams so that you can be held accountable.  I disagree.  For one, if you are ever going to achieve the impossible, you have got to be grown up enough to hold yourself accountable. That is called being responsible; and if you cannot be responsible for yourself, you will not be responsible to someone else.  Second, the bigger and more impossible your dream the more others will do their best to talk you out of it.  Not because they want to hurt you or hold you back (however, that can happen too), but because they love you and are worried that you may get hurt, disappointed or fail.  The fact is, you will get hurt, disappointed and fail - perhaps many times - but that is all part of the achievement of success.  Do not allow others, even out of love, to rob you of your dream out of their fears.

"When you win, say nothing.  When you lose, say less."

- Paul Brown

(1908-1991)

Coach

3)  Talk Less When Creating Your Plan

                Just as you know what you want to do, you also must know how to get there.  In creating a plan for achievement, you must be wise about what advice to take.  Do not seek advice or direction from someone who does not believe you will ever achieve the dream in the first place.  Find those who, although they may not believe in the dream, they do believe in you.  They can give you help and direction that will move you forward.

                The next place to look for advice in forming a plan for achievement is in books and material by people who understand and pursue success.  Talk with people who have achieved the very thing you desire to achieve and listen to the problems they faced and the answers they found.  This will be a great help to you and you plan your course of action.

4)  Talk Less When You Have Achieved Your Goal

                Success is great!  You become so excited that you have achieved your goals and are starting to live your dreams.  One of the first things you want to do is to go back to all those who said you could not do it and say "See!  I told you I could do it!"  Don't do that.  For one, it will lessen your victory if the only thing you got from it was revenge.  Also, no one gains from a braggart.  Truly success-minded people understand that there is more power in being humble and quiet than showing off to those who really don't care anyway.

                Here is the very best way to celebrate a victory of achieving a goal.  Be happy, smile and enjoy the moment, then find a new goal and get started.  The greatest enemy of success is a success.  When we achieve, it is easy to think we did it and now we are done.  You are not done until you are dead.  If you still have the life you still have goals to achieve and dreams to follow.  You will find that when you see achievement as stepping stones and not a destination you will find excitement in life and always on the road to something greater than before.              

You can learn more about Personal Development from author and speaker, John Patrick Hickey.  To get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com. Be sure to sign up for free membership and get even more tools to help you achieve your dreams.  

© 2019 John Patrick Hickey. No part of this may be reprinted or published without the permission of the author.