MANNERS MATTER

 

“Hold the door, say please, say thank you. Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie.

 I know you got mountains to climb but always stay humble and kind.”

– Tim McGraw

Singer/Songwriter

 

When I was growing up, we (meaning most of the young people of my day) all learned basic good manners daily. It was not so much that good manners were vital as bad manners were not tolerated. The American poet Bryant H. McGill had it right when he said, “Good manners are appreciated as much as bad manners are abhorred.”

As I have grown, I have come to appreciate good manners more and more. Not because they give a person a mark of importance or make others seem beneath them. Good manners make others feel you respect and care about them. Manners went far beyond how you held a teacup or ate a meal. Good manners are built upon the little courtesies you showed to others. The recognized etiquette expert of the day was author Emily Post (1872-1960). Post once said, “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”

The thing with good manners is that they have never gone out of fashion or become outdated. Yes, I agree good manners are used less these days, but that is because people have become more self-centered, not because good manners are unnecessary.

A group formed back in 2009 that practice medieval martial arts called the Knight of the Free Company. Along with their focus on medieval combat, they also hold to the Knightly form of chivalry. I found one of their statements interesting. It reads: “Cheverly never died. The gentlemen in most men did. Being male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of age. But, being a gentleman is a matter of choice.”

That is the key to good manners. It is all a matter of choice. We must choose to treat others with respect and kindness. Not because we have to, but because we choose to. A wise person once said, “Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.”

Good manners are a sign of respect, not only for others but for ourselves as well. It says we respect ourselves enough to stand above the rudeness and nastiness of the commonplace. We are not better than others, but we are better as people. Good manners show that we not only believe in doing our best but being our best as well.

Good manners will do more for your career than all the degrees, experience, and connections you can put together. When the choice is working with someone who is well-mannered and ill-mannered, the well-mannered person will win every time.

Social philosopher Eric Hoffer (1902-1983) said, “Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” Let’s face it; no one likes a rude person, not even a rude person. The time for good manners has come. Be the one who is in front of the crowd. Author Og Mandino (1923-1996) gave us all some great advice when he said, “I seek constantly to improve my manners and graces, for they are the sugar to which all are attracted.” Thank you for listening.

You can learn more about Personal Development from the author and speaker, John Patrick Hickey. To get his books, training material, or book him to speak to your church, business, or group, visit our website at www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   

© 2021 John Patrick Hickey. No part of this material may be reprinted or published without the written permission of the author.