Nothing Worse Than A Bad Tenant

“Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head.  Raise the rent and kick them out.” - Zig Ziglar

We all have them in our lives.  The people who are always negative about everything we say, do, or believe.  Some may even be toxic in that they may treat us or those we love cruelly and cause great hurt.  At times, these people can be those we work with or meet through others.  We have the ability to walk away and not have to deal with them.  Other times it is not so easy.  These negative and toxic people can be in our family, our patents or even our spouse.

                In either case, the answer is really the same.  Most of the damage that negative people do to us are things we allow them to do.  That is right, we allow it.  "But what can I do?  I have asked them to stop being so hurtful and discouraging, but they will not listen."  Maybe the answer is for you not to listen?  I understand that is not as easy as it sounds.  I had a highly negative family member in my life for years.  I did all I could to block this person out, but we had to see each other and I had to deal with it.  It was hard and at times almost impossible, but I did learn from the experience and found that I was in control and could deal with it.

                I have told you many times, God has given you control over only one thing in the entire universe and that is control over yourself.  The thing that negative people do that is so effective in hurting us is that they get into our heads.  They cause us to think about them night and day.  We rehearse what we want to say to them.  We think about what they say and do over and over again.  We allow them to take control of our thinking and our attitudes, and that is the most dangerous thing we can do.

                When you allow someone to stay in your head, you then belong to them.  They control what you think about, how you feel, how you treat others and what you become.  Here is the most dangerous and evil part of it all, it is a principle of nature and a reality of life.  We become the thing we hate.  Have you ever noticed someone who has a person in their life that they hate, how they seem to become more and more like that person without even realizing it.  They do not realize it because it is becoming part of who they are.  The same is true for you and me my friend.  We do not realize that we act like those we hate till it is too late and we have become the negative ones.

                Here is what you need to do in order to take back your head and attitudes from negative and toxic people:

Forgive:  Forgiveness is not saying that it is okay and you are fine.  Too often people become unreasonable about forgiving and think that you let it all go and do nothing.  When the hurt comes back, the add guilt to it and make things worse.  Forgiveness is letting go and not holding the wrong against someone else.  It is not feeling you have to get revenge or prove you are right.  Yes, the negative person is wrong, but you will not be controlled by them.

Dismiss:  Evict them from your head.  Stop thinking about them and what they say.  Do not listen to their advice and do not hold on to anything they tell you.  You have the ability to control your thinking, so control it.

Disconnect:  Learn to not talk with negative people.  If they are people you live with, avoid any topics that involve your dreams, your work or your thoughts.  Keep it positive and cheerful.  Nothing repels a negative person more than you being positive and cheerful all the time.  You will cause them to stop their behavior or drive them crazy - maybe both.

                Your head is not a space for other people's trash.  Fill it with good things and you will have no room for their junk.  To quote what the Apostle Paul wrote to the people in Philippi, "...I'd say you do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious - the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse." (Message Bible)

To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at http://www.growthcenter.net or www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2013 John Patrick Hickey