Searching for Fair

" Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not."

- Oscar Wilde

(1854-1900) Irish Writer/Poet

There is no greater misconception in modern life than that of fairness.  We start as kids complaining that things are not fair and it goes right on into adulthood.  If one child gets a treat, others quickly call "unfair" if they do not get one.  If one child earns a privilege then others call "unfair" if they don't get it.  Ask either of my daughters what they heard the most growing up and they will quickly tell you it their dad saying, "There is no such thing as fair."  I believe that more now than I ever did before.

                First, let's define fairness.  According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary it means:

a : marked by impartiality and honesty : free from self-interest, prejudice, or favoritism

b (1) : conforming with the established rules : allowed (2) : consonant with merit or importance : due

c : open to legitimate pursuit, attack, or ridicule

That is a bit different than what most people would define it as today.

                Today, our idea of "fair" is that I have what you have.  Yes, you worked hard to get it and I didn't - but that is fair.  Yes, you paid the price for success and I was not willing to, but it is unfair for you to reap the benefits and I get nothing.  Fairness has gone for being an opportunity to being an entitlement.

                In the arena of competition, from sports to business, everything has to be equal, because that is fair.  No winners, no losers, we all get something because it is fair.  Let me tell you, there are, always has been and always will be, winners and losers in life.  The winners win because they work harder, practice and do what they need to.  Losers don't.

                True fairness means that we all have the opportunity to achieve our dreams in life.  If you are willing to work hard, do what is needed and pay the price, you can achieve success.  If you are unwilling to do that and desire to just live off everyone else, it is "fair" that you get nothing.  I know that there are those who either cannot work or care for themselves (however, many have proven that kind of thinking wrong), but doing for them is called charity and kindness.  It is freely given and "fair" is not the thinking behind it.

                I do believe in fairness, I just do not accept it as many define it today.  I believe it is fair for someone - anyone - to pursue and achieve their dream.  I also believe that it is fair for them to fail.  It is unfair for people not to try to achieve in fear of failure.  Failure is not a bad thing.  We learn from it, grow from it and become better by it.  Author of Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill said, "Remember, no more effort is required to aim high in life, to demand abundance and prosperity, than it required to accept misery and poverty." 

                The next time you start to think about something being "fair" ask yourself if you really want it to be fair or just to get something you did not earn.  There are many things in life that are unfair.  People are oppressed and injustice is everywhere, however, it has been my experience that these people who suffer that kind of unfairness seldom fuss about it.  They have the courage to do something to change it.  You hear the calls for fairness from those who want what others have earned.  Which really and truly is most unfair.

To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at http://www.growthcenter.net or www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2014 John Patrick Hickey